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9 of the Strangest Things Ever Stolen

Many people don’t worry about their homes being robbed, because they “don’t have anything worth stealing,” right?

While it’s probably true that robbers aren’t interested in old pizza boxes and your lumpy, college-era futon, you might be surprised to learn just how odd robbers’ tastes run. Let’s take a look at 9 of the strangest things ever stolen.

Aw, nuts!

In two unrelated incidents, a pair of testicles from a bull statue in Edmonton, Canada, and a vial of bull semen from the campus of Cal-Polytech University were reported stolen. No cow has been arrested in connection with either crime.

But where will they hide it?

A befuddled New Hampshire man reported the theft of an entire 15-ton building. In a similar case, a fully constructed 10 x 20-foot vacation cabin was stolen from a couple’s California property. Police have no leads in either case, but are on the lookout for thieves with very large getaway cars.

All that and a bag of…

A Los Angeles mugger got less than he bargained for when he snatched a bag from the hand of a woman walking her dog. Rather than coming away with her purse, all the man got was a bag of dog doo. “Shit,” the man told police.

He thought he was getting lucky.

After a night on the pull, a Michigan man repaired to the men’s room to procure a prophylactic. When he found the machine out of order, the man ripped it from the wall and attempted to exit the premises, machine in tow. The police report fails to mention whether he got the girl.

A bird-brained operation.

A California El Pollo Loco restaurant was distraught by the theft of its 20-foot inflatable rubber chicken. So intent on getting its chicken back, the restaurant offered a reward of 12 free combo meals, no questions asked. Sadly, the thieves failed to cluck forward.

While you were sleeping.

A groggy official at a remote heating plant in Khabarovsk, Russia reluctantly reported the theft of their 200-ton access bridge. The guard, an apparently heavy sleeper, slumbered in his tower while a team of fast-working thieves dismantled the bridge and loaded it onto waiting trucks for a quick getaway.

Everything and the kitchen sink.

A British man returned from vacation to find that a hungry burglar had stolen his recently renovated kitchen. Everything–from the oven to the refrigerator to the kitchen sink–was gone. The unhappy homeowner was forced to eat takeaway meals until his replacement kitchen arrived.

In a pickle.

A Polish man who stole a jar of gherkins from a Gliwice home was forced to spill the beans when he was found sputtering and choking near the crime scene. Considerate police stepped in to help dislodge the vegetable before arresting the man.

In the mood for petty larceny.

A Wal-Mart employee from the mid-west reportedly found an empty and discarded tin of oysters shoved between packages of diapers. Looks like someone was hoping to get lucky after picking up a few necessities. Photo by Maggie Mudd.

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